Towson and Baltimore, MD

There are no new photos from the most recent excursion to Baltimore.  This blog is named PICS of Me in Front of Stuff, but there just was not much STUFF that I felt like photographing.  Nothing so momentous occurred that it warranted breaking out the Official Camera of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff.  The usual drinking and cast of characters were in attendance and we all enjoyed the Official Beer of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Baltimore Trips...

Miller Lite!

Clearly, these ladies just came up when I did an image search of Miller Lite on Google.

Their appearance would have counted as momentous!

However, there are some things we can take away from this weekend in Baltimore.
These are the take home points:

1.  I don't know if I ever looked as young at a bar as the kids with which we played Beer Pong at the CVP  in Towson.  I can not say for sure if they were 21 and honestly I don't care.  I thought I gave up playing beer pong with underage college students after college then after grad school and now I realize it's probably not going to stop in the foreseeable future.

Wow, that sentence above made me feel old.  However, the $1.75 beers and the Power Hour earlier that evening quickly deadened any apprehension I felt Friday night.  It seems consuming 90 oz of beer in 60 minutes does wonders for your self-esteem. I think Adrian Peterson may have done one prior to the NFC Championship game because he can't stop dropping the football.  Amazingly, that was the first time I had partaken in a Power Hour, but it would not be the last time I attempted one.
2.  You should watch The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard.  Just like another forgotten classic featuring Jeremy Piven, PCU,  The Goods will probably be relegated to edited day-time airing on Comedy Central.  I should start a petition to prevent that. 

When someone tells me to wear my boner pants, I wear my boner pants!

Watching The Goods and The Hangover on DVD is still a great way to spend  a hungover afternoon and that's what we did.  I believe I claimed several times that I was going to marry a stripper Saturday night.  Luckily, I did not.  But if there was one that looked like Heather Graham, I might have had to consider offering a proposal.

Will you marry me?

3.  'Move along, loser!' The exact words said to me by some hooch in the Green Turtle in Towson, MD.   My marriage proposal to Heather Graham may have elicited a similar response. Overall, the bar was a decent place and Kelly the Bartender was friendly.  We did a few shots of something or other there and so my memory of the decor is pretty fuzzy.  I vaguely remember a redhead with a giant ass on the dance floor being surround by black guys.  And I also remember the loser comment.  It's really burnt into my brain.  Apparently, my advanced degree, good job, and well-written blog (well, two out of three) are just not enough to impress some people.  Maybe it's my thinning hair or neck fat.

Hello, Ladies!

I'll have to flash the business cards and/or lab coat next time I am in Towson.  Or maybe I will clean up my diet and hit the gym.  There are a multitude of options!
4.  I'll still wonder what would happen if someone had done a drive by motorboat on the exceedingly well endowed young woman sitting near us in Baltimore's Speakeasy Saloon on Saturday night. 

You motorboatin' son of a bitch!

Her escort, some dude wearing an Ed Hardy shirt who I assumed used 'Brah!' in conversation and not in an ironic way, was damn close to doing so while we sat there. It would have made for a very good story if one of us had given that giant set of mammaries a quick bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  It would certainly have been a better story than what I am working with right now.  
5.  Finally, I learned if you can't finish a Power Hour for the 2nd night in a row, you immediately grow a vagina and apparently it whistles and may or may not have sand in it.  A sandy, whistling vagina is a bad thing. 

Nobody like's a sandy vagina.

I am far from being an expert on that particular organ, but if there is sand in there how does it whistle?  I only have limited access to them and I am sure the thinning hair and neck fat limits that access even more.  Also, does the sound change as sand is cleaned out of there?  I can only imagine.
With that image burnt into your brain, I am going to wrap this up and go watch OT in the NFC Championship game.  Hope you had a great weekend!
Who Dat?!