Tunica, Mississippi - State No. 30

I seriously wrote this fucking post once already and Blogger did not save it for me.  It was funny as shit.  It had some references to The Karate Kid  and shit that I felt really brought the proverbial fucking house down.  Then Mozilla or Blogger or some other shit prevented me from saving it.  My lack of forethought to save brilliant manuscripts on a backup disk in a fireproof box some day for my 2 followers to start a bidding war at Sotheby's or Sothe-bay's (get it?) astounds me.  Why am I swearing so much?  Maybe it's that or the bottle of wine I just polished off.  No, my life is not so sad that I finished off a bottle of delicious Tohu 2007 Marlborough Pinot Noir by myself while polishing off two boxes of Butterfinger minis.  I am in the middle of doing important research to please the members of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Nation.  Tonight I learned you should read Club Trillion and NUMB3RS is a terrible television show.
I did have a topic before I started this inebriated typing- Mississippi State No. 30 

That picture is blurry with no booze, but it still says Mississippi on that sign.
Here's my favorite joke about Mississippi:
A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following; "Emma come first, Den I come. Two asses, the come together, I come again. Two asses come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once a-more."
"You foul moutherd swine." retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady!" said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."
That joke definitely does not insult Mississipians which is often my intent when speaking about states that are not my own.  Nope, this joke definitely insults the english speaking of ethnic Italians.  But seriously, as insults regarding Italians coming out of New Jersey, this one is pretty tame.  Italian Americans definitely should be more upset by the Sopranos or The Jersey Shore.  
Mississippi, the Hospitality State, worked it's way to being State No. 30 on Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's hit list thanks to its proximity to Alabama and Alabama's proximity to South Carolina.  Like Alabama, the Gulf Shore of Mississippi is supposed to be nice but in December it's cold like most of the country.  Unlike Alabama, Pics of Me in Front of Stuff had a clear destination before the plans for the recent southern swing were even in their infancy.  The northwest corner of Mississippi houses the 3rd largest gambling center in the United States - Tunica, MS.  Like Vegas and AC, Tunica features the usual major casinos including Harrah's, Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's base of operations in Mississippi.  

 

Here's the casino at night.

I can't lie and tell you how great the time at Tunica and Harrah's was.  Unlike the Strip in Vegas or the Boardwalk in Atlantic City, if you pick Harrah's and don't like the gambling scene there's no option to walk or take a cab to Caesar's or the Trop.  The casinos in Tunica or at least Harrah's are isolated from any other casino or grouping of casinos.  Harrah's has a fine hotel.  It was as nice as any casino hotel I have ever been in, but I have never been so nickeled and dimed by a hotel, casino or otherwise as I was by Harrah's. The restaurants were exorbitant, the fitness center cost money to use, and internet access was not even cheap.  I am sure I could bitch some more about paying for things but I would rather complain about eating at Paula Dean's Buffet.

Ya'll Hungry?

No, I hate you.  Leave me a lone.  Paula's was the only restaurant open either due to it being December or mid-week so Pics of Me in Front of Stuff gorged itself with deep fried Southern comfort food.  No wonder the South lost the Civil War if that's what they ate. Any and all charges would probably cause casualties due to heart attacks.  If I ate that shit all the time you could put my sweat over a baked potato in place of butter and sour cream.  
My disdain for Paula Dean's cooking aside, the casino was also a downer.  Pics of Me in Front of Stuff has been known to throw away it's money away in the right crowd.  Blackjack, craps, roulette, one-armed bandits -  any of those are an excellent for Pics in Me Front of Stuff to lose money.  However, with a much more fiscally conservative CP at my side reckless gambling was not in the cards (get it?).  Usually gambling also features free drinks but primarily due to the lack of crowds there were few cocktail waitresses to be found.  On a bigger night, I could see Harrah's being a fun place to be.  On a week night in December in the middle of the deepest recession since the Great Depression, Harrah's Tunica was rather unexciting.  
The most interesting aspects of Tunica were its proximity to Memphis (I'll probably discuss that in the next post) and the fact the casinos in Tunica are located on the Mississippi River.  

From my understanding of the gambling laws in the Hospitality State casinos are not allowed on land except for the southern-most counties of the state.  If you could not tell by my bitching, Mississippi was not my favorite state to visit.  At least they had some decent billboards.

And that's really as good as Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's visit to Mississippi got.
P.S. I did not have an awesome Karate Kid joke.