Sunday, March 14, 2010

Waynesboro, PA and Haagerstown, MD - All messed up

I am sure all of the devoted readers of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff are thinking 'Really, Kyle?!  No pictures again?!"  I can explain the problem in one word - thundercougarfalconbird.
Now with more eagle.
As I lie in bed feeling the continued effects of what has turned into a 2-day hangover, I have to really question why I do this to myself.  I fear that booze might be my thundercougarfalconbird..  Replace Fry with Kyle, the salesman with a bartender, and thundercougarfalconbird with alcohol and you sum up far too many of my nights out lately.  I am only allowed on 20-Something Bloggers for so much longer and since I am not a mommy-blogger, a fashionista, an unemployed recent college graduate, or a female they may kick me out even sooner.  Maybe I need to start acting more responsible, like I am approaching 30.  Or maybe I should avoid the whole black-out drunk thing. 
I know I am probably confusing most of my readers with all of these metaphors so I'll just talk about my trip to Haagerstown, MD with my meathead friends from college. 
Back in the day we were kinda bad-ass.   
Maybe bad-ass is a bit of a stretch, but we were definitely on the bigger side.  On Saturday a number of us pictured above gathered near the MD-PA border at Shac Dizzle's (#67) house.  If owning a home and having children (extremely cute twins) makes you mature and/or responsible then Shac is king of Mature Responsible Mountain. I am not really sure what that means, but he does have a wife, kids, and a mortgage.  None of those are a thundercougarfalconbird, but they are all things I would like to have in the not too distant future.  Pics of Me in Front of Stuff and my thundercougarfalconbird may suffer as a result, but that is something I am willing to live with.  Not all of those big fellas pictured above made it down to Shac's place.  The Sackmaster (#33), The Best Option QB in the State of PA (#11), and The Man with the Most Powerful Liver on Earth (just above my right shoulder) joined Shac, some of Shac's in-laws, and myself for a fun filled romp through South Central PA.  By fun filled romp I mean there was a lot of drinking and by South Central PA I also mean Haagerstown, MD.
As seems to be my custom on these booze and amnesia fueled adventures, we started off strong with lots of beer and food.  The food was at Dave and Jane's Crab House Restaurant and Lounge in Fairfield, PA.  There had been talk of dominating some AYCE crabs, shrimp, or some other sea creature but those thoughts were brushed aside due to the inordinate amount of drinking that had proceeded and was about to proceed.  No one wanted to give up space in their stomach to food because more room for beer was needed.  I also was trying to avoid being covered in sea creature guts because I have been known to wear my dinner when alcohol is involved.  We all did chow down on some hush puppies and crab fries.  The Sackmaster referred to the hush puppies as the best thing he had ever eaten.  The crab fries were a surprise since they covered in lump crab meat and not just old bay.
Following the food was more drinking at Shac Dizzle's Mature Responsible Mountain Castle and at some point there was a continued passing of a bottle of Jim Beam between the Man with World's Strongest Liver, Shac's brother-in-law and I.  Clearly, the night was filled with good intentions.  After what seemed like an interminable wait a few cabs arrived to take us to Cancun Cantina in Haagerstown.
From there everything gets a little hazy.

The known facts include:
1.  The Man with the World's Strongest Liver and I took shots at each bars in the place.  The number of bars is unknown to me but it is the range of 3 to 6.
2.  There were lots of dudes with cowboy hats.  I cannot give an exact number but there were certainly more than 5.
3.  The Sackmaster had my cheap aviator sunglasses on at some point but they are gone now.  I have to go to Wal Mart and buy some more for $5.
4.  I remember a brunette waitress with a cowboy hat as looking like Rachel McAdams.  She was selling shots for $6 and I felt that was too expensive.  Somehow I doubt she really looked like Rachel McAdams, but I am positive she had a cowboy hat on...maybe.
5.  I was stuck outside for some reason at the end of the night.  I was unsure if I was asked to leave or left on my own and was not allowed back in.  Either way there was an indeterminate amount of time in which I was waiting outside for everyone else.  It's likely I'll never know why and that may be for the best.
That really summed up my night in Haagerstown.  I dumped a fair amount of money into that bar for no memories, no picture, and a pretty bad hangover.  That will have to be something I consider from here on out when I go out to a bar.  Wow, I must be getting old.

4 comments:

Candice said...

Your life sounds a lot like mine, and approaching 30 sounds like more of a reason to get black-out drunk more frequently...yes?

PoMiFoS said...

My body and my wallet are both sore after episodes like that. Damn, there I go being responsible again...

Unknown said...

It was nice to read your account of this and know that I was not responsible for any of these activities! However, opening day in DC is coming upon us quickly.

PoMiFoS said...

As a member of the MAC Attack, you're always with me in spirit.