Phillies Photo Day - Citizens Bank Park

Holy Crap! It's a post on Pics of Me in Front of Stuff!
Holy Crap, I'm not dead!
No, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.  If there were such rumors. 
The Vagina Hunters are still blowing up Pics of Me in Front of Stuff even without new content or content without a huge number of typos like the post about my trip to Iowa.  It's interesting my keyboard stopped working following that trip.  Some like to say it may have been due to an excessive amount of 'adult' material but I worry it may have committed suicide due to it being implicated in the murder of the English language.  It's likely we'll never know for sure. 

Back to exclamations:
Holy crap, I got to stand on the warning track at Citizen's Bank Park!

Holy crap, I'm wearing mandals!  Apparently, it's a fashion faux pas for men to expose their toes in public.  I'll never claim to have attractive feet.  They're slightly hobbitish just larger and with slightly less hair but I have just as much right as anyone to let my toes get some fresh air.  There are bigger prolems out there like muffin tops and Justin Bieber's hair cut.  Go handle those, fashion police, before accosting me for my choice of footwear.  To all you mandal haters, I say eat a dick.

And more importantly, Holy Crap, I've never stood so close to the Philadelphia Phillies before. 

I was not as close as that guy was to Roy Halladay's lovely smile.
I was probably close enough that my man-crush on Cole Hamels could have come to fruition.

No, it would have not been whatever Strictly a platonic man-hug ala J.D. and Turk in Scrubs.

There probably wouldn't be any German subtitles.
Also it certainly would not be a full on homoerotic tummy-stick-esque hug like Apollo Creed and Rocky.  There's a pretty clear difference.  But Cole Hamels was not the only hot thing on the field either, Chase Utley was there, too. 

Ooops, I mean it was really hot and humid in Philadelphia that day.  You can see my blue Chase Utley Jersey appears to be changing color below.

Yes, ladies, that's sweat.  I did not realize at the time, but I actually had mononucleosis that day.  I am pretty glad I made it off the field that day.  Between the heat, humidity, and being sick I could have not only stood on the baseball field but also collapsed there, too!  Fortunately, I was smart enough not to share anyone's beer and also to refrain from the usual stupidity that runs rampant during my trips to see the Official Favorite Baseball Team of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff. 

I did not drink any of the giant beer, I just sat next to it.

 That may be hard to believe, but it's totally true!