Seriously, can you get more bad-ass than R. Lee Ermey and John Wayne in one commercial? Even if it is for Coors Light. I say no.
But I digress.
Did you know The Duke was born in Winterset, Iowa?
Until Saturday, neither did I. Then I went to Iowa.
They even have a statue of him in the middle of town.
It's interesting to note that Winterset is in Madison County of Iowa which is more well known for its covered bridges. Like the one below in Winterset City Park.
Dear Readers and Vagina Hunters, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Between returning from vacation, getting sick, work and my softball team's improbable run through the playoffs my time to inspire others via Pics of Me in Front of Stuff has been limited. I'll eventually fill in some more details about the Spring and Summer of 2010. My ability to exercise has also been limited. However, when I heard Albert Haynesworth, a man who makes millions of dollars to be an athlete, could not run 300 yards in 70s I wanted to join the multitude of others that have tried and succeeded. Haynesworth is about the same age as me just 7 inches taller and 130 lbs heavier than me. Albert's carrying what usually amounts to me carrying a girl friend more than me. I should be able to beat him. I saw Mike Golic did it, why can't I?
The test is pretty simple. Perform six 25-yard shuttle runs (25 yards and back aka 50 yards) in 70 seconds or less. Take a three minute and 30 second break and repeat in 73 seconds or less.
I tried this morning.
I failed this morning.
Set 1 = 76 s
Set 2 = 79 s
I can think of a multitude of excuses but I am not going to use a single one. Now I am bound and determined to be able to run as fast as 300+ lb freak of nature and maybe the Redskins will give me a multimillion dollar contract. I played college football.
Give me a call, Mr. Snyder.
That's yours truly making magic happen at the Wendy's drive-thru late the night before the Roy Halladay Era started in Philadelphia. The secret is to just knock on the window until you annoy the employees enough that they just open the window.
Yes, that was some delicious fast food.
Why the sudden change in track? Where's the beautiful scenery of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's trip out West? It's because the Phillies suck right now and I wanted to be reminded of when they were the Team to Beat in the National League. Right now they're the team to Get Beat in the National League.
Back to the story at hand, any Easter night that starts with MC Hammer-tinies has to be a good time.
Where do you go for MC Hammer-tinis in Georgetown on an Easter Sunday? Why, Mr. Smith's of course. What's actually in one? Hammer vodka and some other stuff to make it fruity and fru-fru. Naturally, a perfect drink for me. If you were a member of the Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Entourage you would also get to drink 40 plus beers plus a shot or two in deference to Donovan McNabb being traded to the Redskins earlier that day. You may also end up with a bow earring in your ear. Isn't that a nice look for Fensty?
And that was way before beer 40 or shot one.
Helping us blow more money was the fact that Mr. Smith's becomes a piano bar at night and due to the few customers present we ended up sitting directly at the piano. Thanks to the stylings of Mr. Spencer Bates, his eclectic play list, and Fensty's and This Guy's need to buy him shots I am sure we spent at least an extra $100.
But, how could you resist a face like this?
Also, he played Automobile.
Sadly, Mr. Smith's eventually had to close though we did keep it open an extra hour due to our willingness to spend money. Eventually we got to the Wendy's where the magic happened. Eventually, we got back to the hotel. Eventually, Fensty dry-humped T-Rev.
There was a baseball game the next day, too. I'll get to that eventually.
Hello! You probably know me, but imaybe not. I don't take sports as seriously as I ued to. I have goals and if I remember to write about them you'll see when I accomplish them.
