2009 in Review

It has been fun 2009, I hate to see you go.
In fact, I am not really sure where you went.
Maybe it was the booze.
Maybe I was busy.
Maybe it was a combination of both. Now that it is almost the end of 2009 and many best of the decade specials are appearing it's time to review the best, the worst, and the unrecorded of 2009. I would like to note that the first decade of the 21st century started in 2001 and lasts until 2010. I am not sure what decade is ending with 2009 since 2000 was actually part of both the 20th Century and the 1990s. Aside from that, couldn't we celebrate the best of the decade every year since there were 9 previous years? I guess it could be said for every arbitrary 365 days and thereby my 2009 year in review would quickly become pointless. So forget most of what I just said and read what accompanies the pictures below.

I am sitting in the parlor of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Manor watching the Temple Owls play in their first bowl game in 30 years, listening to the wind howl outside, and marveling at how Al Golden, Temple's football coach is dressed in a shirt and tie with no coat. My 2010 New Year's resolutions should include being as Bad-Ass as Al Golden. Being more bad-ass, in a good way, should be in everyone's New Year's Resolutions.

Just like the end and like most of the years I have existed, my 2009 started off with a lot of football.

I watched it in Baltimore with This Guy and Mets Fan.

Remember when 2008 was the Summer of the Bearfight?

I watched the Eagles lose another NFC Championship game first hand with the Official Father of Pics of Me In Front of Stuff in Arizona.

CP and I watched the Super Bowl in 3D two weeks later.

It was an exciting year to watch me some football. Every time Hank Williams ask me if I am ready for some football my answer is usually yes.

Football more or less exited the discussion on Pics of Me In Front of Stuff after that game. This is probably due to the season being over. Most of the rest of the first quarter of the year was locked in PA/NY/NJ including a trip to where the 3 borders of those states intersected. Without football, the highlight of the winter of 2009 was probably a trip to the top of the Empire State Building for a wedding on Valentine's Day. Throw in a wedding with a Bear Fight, a Polar Bear Plunge, and a random Belly Dancer and the winter gave way to spring.

I am glad she was not hairy like a bear because there seemed to be a theme developing... Also I was eating and she was dancing close to my food.

The end of winter brought the beginning of baseball season. It does this every year. Unfortunately, the Phillies title defense started with the loss of their longtime play-by-play announcer Harry Kalas. The Phils now play High Hopes after every game in his honor. I hope that is the beginning of a tradition. The world is a little sadder with his loss. The baseball season went on without HK and I was present for Brad Lidge ending his save streak, the Phillies first trip to New Yankee Stadium, idiot Phillies fans shining laser pointers at Albert Pujols, and rode the 7 Train with Jeff Franceour's wife. I also learned that you can visit the home plate that was found in Veteran's Stadium before the dump was torn down and replaced by the current stadiums in Philadelphia.

It is in the middle of a parking lot. This should not be a surprise since the turf was considered as hard as concrete when the Vet still stood.

The Phillies won just as many World Series there as they have in Citizens Bank Ballpark. Thank God they moved. Aside from visiting the Phillies this summer, Pics of Me in Front of Stuff also took a trip to Hawaii. Maybe you saw the 9 posts regarding Pu'uhonua O Honaunau National Historic Park, Kilaueua Lava Flow, Mauna Kea, Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park, the southernmost bar in the US, liquid aloha, South Point, and the Kona Half-Marathon. Fortunately for all of my readers, I seem to have lost the shirtless pictures of me from our day at the beach in Hawaii. I will be sure to save some of those for next year in Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Gone Wild.

Finally, there is the overriding goal of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff - visiting all 50 states. The journey started off a bit slow this year, not reaching Maine until after Memorial Day. Hawaii was already cleared off the list when I visited over the summer. Fortunately, CP and I took a road trip through the Southeast US at the beginning of December. The event is still undocumented on Pics of Me in Front of Stuff, but if you think Hawaii was thoroughly described wait until you start hearing about exciting places like Birmingham, Alabama and Hamburg, Arkansas!

Here's a preview of the whirlwind roadtrip I drug CP on to start off December. This trip helped me reach states 28 through 32. That leaves 18 to go with just under 2 years to accomplish it. You can imagine what next year's road trip looks like.

View Larger Map
With that said, the year is coming to an end and we at Pics of Me in Front of Stuff would like to wish all of you a Happy New Year. Look for bigger and better things in 2010!

L.L. Bean Store - Freeport, ME

There are too few opportunities in my life to demonstrate my unique ability to recall the television and movies from my youth.

For some reason, I keep displaying my non-unique ability to poorly describe my trips to random places.

But back to something I am good at. You should have been there for my list of funny movie tuxedos which did not include The Tuxedo with Jackie Chan but did include:

Josh Baskin's (Tom Hanks) white tuxedo and tails from Big

Frank Dooley (John Candy) and Norman Kane's (Eugene Levy) wore in Armed and Dangerous

My feeling is it's forgotten classic. John Candy was never given a fair shake as an action hero.

Who can forget Harry and Lloyd's stunning tuxed-ification?

This movie taught me a lot about life or at least provides for lots of funny lines to quote for the rest of my life at inappropriate times.

Finally, there is bad boy Ricky Vaughn's sleeveless tuxedo from the baseball classic - Major League.

There was no help from Jobu making this list.

But you were probably not there for the truly hilarious first rendition.

It killed.

Your loss.

My expertise extends beyond fictional formal wear to Nickelodeon shows from the late 80s and early 90s, like Hey Dude. If you do not remember Hey Dude, Nickelodeon's first live-action television series, check out Wikipedia's synopsis.

I am too lazy to try and describe it myself. I already have 4 videos in this post! What else do you people want from me?!

One of my personal favorite exchanges of the entire series was between Melody (Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller's wife and Allentown, PA native) and Brad (Kelly Brown) where Melody, a fan of rap music (really?) challenges Brad the brunette debutante, to name a single rapper.

Gentlemen prefer blonds, but this blond prefers rappers.

Brad's responses:
Run DMV and LL Cool Bean!

Oh, those Nickelodeon writers and their wicked sense of humor!

Where am I going with this? There is no picture of me in front of anything so far.

Alright, here's the point. On the return half of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's recent trip to the Pine Tree State, we stopped in Freeport, ME home of L.L. Bean Inc. Similar to the Chinese desire to keep the Mongols out of their territory with the Great Wall of China, the Beans wanted to keep moisture separated from their feet with a giant duck boot outside their factory store in Freeport. Unfortunately, the giant duck boot is not observable from space.

The store, or more accurately, the complex was a monument to everything Bean! If you wanted something labeled as L.L. Bean short of a bondage starter kit, you could find it at this store. I did not go into the S&M section, so it is possible I just missed it. I was too busy checking out the sandals and/or tents. On a beautiful, sunny Maine day we wandered inside amongst aisle after aisle of clothes equipment intended to be used outdoors. It was an interesting paradox...or maybe...a paradox boots...

Remember Maine! - Acadia National Park - Bar Harbor, Maine

I have said this before but in Pennsylvania.

This time I did not just say it, I lived it! I remember Maine since I was there a few weeks ago. Recently, I managed to describe the more humid portion of my trip. Maybe you read it and noticed my impressive usage of literary devices or at least me mentioning literary devices. Considering I managed to work 12 hours at my real job today, I am just glad I can type out the words literary and device so I will not even consider trying to use them. Regardless of my abundance or lack of literary devices, I spent a rainy first day in Maine.
But consider this...

And that little ginger girl was right! The sun did come out the next day though I was unwilling to place any bets on the chance of precipitation. I do not have to go far down to reach my bottom dollar, but I was unwilling to reach for it. The sun did come up eventually that afternoon. And the sun was not blocked by rain clouds for the rest of the weekend. With the arrival of the gorgeous sunshine to the coast of Maine afternoon I returned to Acadia National Park to tackle the Beehive. It was sort of like the swallows returning to Capistrano, but different.

The Beehive is not the most dangerous/exciting trail in the world or even Acadia National Park. The Precipice Trail is closed during the spring and summer for osprey to nest. The Beehive trail is almost always available for a climb up. The rock outcropping appears to just straight out of the soil of Mount Desert Island and invite or maybe dare foolhardy souls to try and climb it.

Here it is on the cloudy day before this particular fool climbed it. Though not very tall, the Beehive juts menacingly above the trees then observed from the Sandy Beach. Fortunately, there were no real bees to make the rock outcropping even more exciting.

Tommy Boy - A funny movie is a click away

Look at that!
Two videos in one post!
That must be some kind of record!
Back to the original topic, the Beehive is well-known for the short trail that ascends it because the trail is so steep that at some points it features iron rungs to assist in climbing. That is why we saved the Beehive for a sunny day - iron rungs are especially slippery when wet. Initially, the Chief Photographer and I had some difficult finding the trail that led to the iron rungs. We turned a little earlier at what we thought was the Beehive trail.
We managed to find a goat's foot but no iron rungs.
After carefully consulting the map we realized if you just look for the giant rock pile, it is hard to get lost...


After realizing just how dumb we were for not just looking for the giant cairn aka rock pile, CP and I began the hardest, steepest part of the Beehive Trail. The trail is not a handicap accessible trail. You certainly will not make it up iron rungs with a cane, walker, or wheelchair. The trail is not so difficult that children can't make it up. If I were a parent taking my kids up this trail they might be on one of those leashes people keep their kids on these days. The dangers are real, but not so prevalent you need to be an expert rock climber to reach the summit. It is pretty cool to see iron rungs attached to rocks sporadically. In all honesty, the iron rungs are the main reason I wanted to go on this trail. I have enough pictures of me looking manly, standing in forest landscapes.

Like this one.

I had zero pictures of me climbing iron rungs in the woods in a manly fashion, until now.

If you can believe it, CP and I managed to reach the top of the Beehive without incident. (I like the CP nickname even though she gave it to herself.) At the top, we supped on PB&J the official sandwich of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff, relaxed in the gorgeous sunshine, and enjoyed the view. That was a common theme in Maine and Acadia National Park the entire weekend. I recommend heading there and doing the same.

Maine in the Rain - Acadia National Park - Bar Harbor, Maine

I just returned from Hawaii and shaved off a week's worth of beard, but this post is not going mention those any further than the first half of this sentence. I am saving that for a few posts from now.

Consider that foreshadowing.

Look at me a using literary device. Next thing you know, I will be spitting out some alliteration or maybe an allusion.

Since most of these rambling collections of words are as understandable as Sarah Palin's reasons for resigning. it is time to get straight to the topic at hand:

Maine!

Truth be told, I will only be covering the first few rainy days we spent in one of The Pine Tree State's most well-known locales, Bar Harbor. If you are a frequent reader or if you scroll down a little bit, you will see I mentioned the town on Mount Desert Island previously on Pics of Me in Front of Stuff. While chronological order is usually one of my strong suits, I say nuts to chronology and I will describe events in whatever order I will see fit. I may or may not be describing my trip as a 5-year old to Disney Land in the near future. I may even describe it backwards. Stay tuned.

What is really going to happen is I will describe out first few soggy days including a rainy trip to Acadia National Park, which makes up a large portion of Mount Desert Island and is just down the road from Hanscom's Motel, Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's HQ while in Maine. All of this happened before I battled with the lobster, screw you chronological order. Like much of the East Coast in May and June, sunshine was at a premium in Maine. They were just not handing out many sunny days which affected not only my softball league's schedule, but also my vacation. Despite my cackling laugh, love of flying monkeys, and disdain for scarecrows, tinmen, and cowardly lions I do not melt when wet. However, driving for several hours in the pouring rain is a tiring process and I was grateful to finally reach Hanscom's, a small, lovely family owned motel outside of Bar Harbor, for a respite.

After a quick dinner made in our room's kitchenette (Pics of Me in Front Stuff does not pay), the Chief Photographer and I made a quick visit to the town of Bar Harbor to get the lay of the land and some ice cream cones. Even in the chilly rain and fog, Bar Harbor (or Bah Hah-Bah) is an idyllic little town. See just how much fog there was in the town harbor. I can imagine in the summer that the place is infested with Bostonians and the other denizens of the ESPN/SI created monster known as Red Sox Nation. Fortunately, as a World Phucking Champions supporter, I was not inundated with talk of Youk and Jason Bay. However, I was quite damp due to the poorly-timed precipitation.

Following our trip to town and a restful night of sleep at Hanscom's, the Chief Photographer and I visited Acadia National Park in hopes of exploring and possibly setting the stage for a sunnier return trip (ooh, more foreshadowing). We explored Sandy Beach, recommended to us by a friendly guide at the visitor center, and took a ery brief hike in the near vicinity. There I posed for pictures with things behind me.

Go figure.

From Sandy Beach we could see the Bee Hive, an Acadia Park landmark, as well as lovely views of the rocky coast. We dined on peanut butter and jelly while watching the tide rise and fall on the rocks. After the hike we drove around the main road through the park and eyed up some landmarks and views that required further examination during a sunny day. Even in the cloudy gloom Acadia and its vast array of rocky coasts and pine trees is a sight to behold. I would recommend everyone going sometime before they die to enjoy the beauty found there. Just imagine if I had seen it on a more pleasant day!

Man vs Lobster - Stewman's Downtown - Bar Harbor, Maine

It seems few creatures on the blue planet are as confrontational as humans. From Roe vs Wade to Ali vs Frazier to Bear Stearns in Man vs Wild to the chubby dude from Brooklyn in Man vs Food, humans, especially men are always confronting other men, abstract ideas like the Wild, or large amounts of spicy, greasy, cheesy, meaty, etc. food. It is unlikely I will ever have my own basic cable show in which to confront nature or food or anything, I do have my own blog to confront lots of random crap. Sometimes this crap is me confronting miles of road, push-up competitors, or beer. On a recent trip to Maine, I went for a new type of confrontation - Man vs marine crustacean.
There are not many better places on Earth to find a bright red arthropod than Bar Harbor, Maine. Though you never find them bright red in nature, they are only bright red after they hae been boiled. Or at least, that is what just about everyone told me. Maine is known for its lobster, at least that's what I am told, and who am I not to listen? When I get to Wisconsin, I will eat the cheese and drink the beer. I had the pineapple and poi while I was in Hawaii. How the Hell could I go to Maine and not eat the lobster? So for dinner on the second night of our recent excursion to the home of LL Bean, I visited Stewman's Downtown in Bah Hawbah to get me some lobstah.
Like the accent? I was looking for the most '-ah' words I could fit into one sentence.
Regardless of how you say it, I fought the lobster and I won. The poor 1lb crustacean really had no chance when facing the 230 lb man. There were even instructions for dismatling the little guy.

If there were instructions for dismantling me, I would probably be left in pieces in a paper basket too. Fortunately, no one is wearing a bib with a picture of me on it. Another factor on my side is that I am pretty sure I do not taste delicious after being dipped in melted butter. With those factors on my side, I fear no retribution from the lobster's family. However, if I am suddenly drug to the bottom of the ocean by a group of angry lobsters you should know it is really just karma. Throw an Irish wake in my honor and have a bear fight in memorial.

Upon further review, maybe I should not declare a complete victory. I did own my lobster opponent and his little clam friends as well as their corn on the cob and potato partners, but later they owned my stomach. Let's be honest, there is no doubt regarding my victory. I am typing this, not a lobster but a flawless victory this was not. Fortunately, my tummy regained its composure but the lobster never pulled himself back together.

Victory Mine?!

Remember the Maine!

Before there was 9/11...

Before there was Pearl Harbor...

Before there was the Zimmerman Telegram...

Way before WMDs but after the Alamo, there was the U.S.S. Maine!

According to Wikipedia, the USS Maine was a pre-dreadnaught battleship that operated along the East Coast of the U.S. and the Caribbean. The day after Valentine's Day in 1898, the Maine was sank due to an unexplained explosion and took 266 of America's sailors with her to the bottom of Havana Bay. Though the explosion remains unexplained after 110 years, it resulted in the entry of U.S. into war with Spain aka the Spanish-American War. The unfortunate incident and ensuing conflict resulted in the clever catchphrase 'Remember the Maine!. To Hell with Spain!'

There are various memoirals dedicated to the Maine and the unfortunate sailors who died during its sinking. One such memorial is located in Reading, PA; mere minutes (like 30) from my childhood home in Hamburg, PA.

How could I resist a chance to park my ass in front of history and snap some digital photos with the self timer on my camera? It is pretty clear from the url, it is damn near impossible for me not to narcisstically block the view of historical objects whilst snapping photos.

And here is one more opportunity...

REMEMBER THE MAINE, TO HELL WITH SPAIN!!