Do you know why they put fences around cemeteries?
People are dying to get in.
Do you know why I tell such lame jokes?
Me neither.
Clearly, the proprietors of the cemeteries in central NJ are not locking their gates because I seem to keep wandering into them. Fences make good neighbors, but they are only useful if you lock the gates to prevent riff-raff like me wandering in.
Do you think Anthony Bourdain or Samantha Brown or Bridget Marquardt got their starts posing in front of the resting place of random dearly departed or calling themselves riff-raff? Probably not and neither did Dhani Jones or Andrew Zimmern. Maybe I am gunning for fame on basic cable in the wrong way - there is no show called World's Sexiest Grave Sites or No Dead-servations and hopefully there never will be. Unless Travel Channel wants to pay me to star in those shows... I am listening Travel Channel.
But enough about my desire for being followed by a camera crew as I spout bad jokes and self-deprecation around the globe, I am here to talk about something far more important - me visiting random crap in and around NJ. Most recently my meandering has taken me to Rahway, NJ home of the pharmaceutical giant Merck & Co., Inc. as well as the childhood home of Carl Sagan. Featured in Weird, NJ is the grave of an unknown woman who died in 1887. The unknown woman is the victim of a murder which, even after 200 years, remains unsolved. The victim, described by police as a young woman in her early 20's with blue eyes and brown hair, was found frozen in the mud on Rahway's Central Avenue early on the morning of March 25, 1887, her throat slashed and her face badly beaten. She had worn a feather-trimmed green dress, yellow gloves, "foreign good shoes", jewelry, and a fur cape, and had been carrying a basket of eggs. The locals of Rahway raised money for a gravestone and her remains have been found in Rahway Cemetery ever since. Unfortunately, her identity has never been found to include on the grave marker and it probably never will be. I doubt the Rahway Police Department spends much time on 200 year old cases.
In death, the poor woman's grave serves as a landmark for publications like Weird NJ or blogs like Pics of Me in Front of Stuff to feature. Though a unique achievement, I am sure it is one this poor woman never hoped to achieve!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
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