2010 Playoff Beard Watch - Beard-pocalypse

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout;
But there is no joy in Philly — Ryan Howard watched the last strike fly by him in the bottom of the 9th inning of Game 6 of the NLCS.

And that's the last playoff beard update you'll see in 2010.  Despite Roy Halladay outpitching Tim Lincecum in Game 5, the Phillies season ends in disappointment.  I watched the game in Louisville, KY with some Phillies Phans who just happened to wander into the same sports bar (Champions) as me.  A number of large glasses of the Bluegrass Brewing Company Brown Ale helped to dull the pain, but I know when I get back to Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Manor, the beard, at least most of it, will be gone.  I was hoping to parlay the abundance of facial hair into another Halloween costume. 

I was thinking something along these lines.

Thanks for the image.

Alas, my beard was never meant to last that long.  Just like the Cubs always say, we'll get em' next year!

Playoff Beard Watch 2010 - NLCS

NLCS Game 1 Saturday Night: Cody Ross (Ssor ydoC backwards) pounds two of Roy Halladay's pitches into the LF seats at CBP.  Pat Burrell adds a two run double and Tim Lincecum only gives up three runs. 

Sad Beard Face.

NLCS Game 2 Sunday Night: Roy Oswalt (anyone else find it bizarre that Chase Utley is in Roy Oswalt's Wikipedia picture?) gives up another homerun 5th inning...to Ross...to left field...on what may have been the exact same pitch on which Halladay gave up a tater.  However, in the 7th inning this Roy led off an inning with a hit, ran through a stop-sign thrown up by Sam Perlozzo for an insurance run and the Phils cruised the rest of the way to a 6-1 victory. 

Happy Beard Face!

Unfortunately, both images are merely dramatizations of what the Beardface could have looked like at Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Manor.  Thanks to Fox and Cablevision's little spat the NFL and NLCS are not appearing in large portions of the tri-state area which forced me off of my comfy couch and onto a barstool.  I sent the Official Favorite Uncle of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff the following text message: I had to go to a bar to watch the game.  Guess I'll have to drink some beer.   Luckily, the Bartner was available for some sports watching and beer drinking during Game 1.  We were at Big Shots on Saturday night.  The well-endowed, lasciviously dressed waitresses and bartenders were a bonus, but of three times I've gone to watch the Phillies in the playoffs there they've lost twice.  You're on your last chance Big Shots!. I flew solo to the only Damon's in New Jersey on Sunday night.  While lacking the T and A, the Phils are undefeated in two visits to the bar for playoff games.  You're ahead by a nose, Damon's.  So even though Fox and Cablevision tried to deprive me, the playoff beard, and Pics of Me in Front of Stuff of the NLCS Playoff Beard Watch 2010 Continues!

  

GO PHILS!

Playoff Beard Watch 2010 - NLDS

Maybe this is a little bit of overkill...

Victor Tres Heroes from Zoo With Roy on Vimeo.

Maybe this beard is a little bit of overkill...

Clearly, no on both counts.  That Phillies shirt was worn on the First Day of Doctober.  

Think it's been washed since then?  

Well...maybe that is a little bit of overkill...or maybe the Braves/Giants don't get any hits in the NLCS.  

No pressure, Oswalt.

 With that beard and that shirt, how can the ladies keep their hands off of me?!  I'll admit I trimmed up my neck following Cole stomped on the faces of the Reds' playoff chances. 

Seriously, read ZWR!

The beard as a whole remains intact and hopefully all of its magical powers.  It was actually a crucial part of my attire for the Warrior Dash this past weekend.  Don't worry, you'll hear about that one soon enough and maybe even see pictures I did not steal from a sports blog. 

Voodoo Doughnut - Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon is an interesting place.

Portland is the whitest big city in the United States, being over 70 % white according to the most recent census.  Portland was almost named Boston.  Thankfully, the name Portland won on a coin-flip and the West Coast avoided having a second Red Sox franchise and a second set of obnoxious fans who can't say their r's.

They also love their PBR in Portland.

Damn, hipsters.

Finally, Portland is split by the Willamette River with Downtown Portland existing only on the west side of the river.  Not far from the river on 3rd Ave SW is Voodoo Doughnut.

The bakery is famous, at least to me, from appearing on multiple Travel Channel shows including Man vs Food and College Gameday on their trip to Eugene, OR.  On College Gameday, Kirk Herbstreit had a Stanford doughnut, an Oregon doughnut, and a Maple Bacon Bar.  Another reason College Gameday is one of my favorite shows.  Also, their commercials are hilarious!  Voodoo Doughnut is known most for the unique toppings used on said doughnuts.  There are multiple locations, but Pics of Me in Front of Stuff does not visit spin-offs.  Pics of Me in Front of Stuff goes to the original.  Sadly, in addition to photographer and sole contributer I am also the driver and finding your way around Downtown Portland is not a completely simple proposition.  I probably drove by the tiny hole-in-the-wall bakery 3 or 4 times before I saw the line and the sign for my destination.

When I finally got to park, waited in the long line, and managed to get into the tiny hole in the wall bakery I was shocked at the sheer number of combinations of doughnuts and doughnut toppings.  Check out their menu online.  I managed to wade through the huge number of choices because I knew what I wanted before I got there.

The Maple Bacon Bar!

Aside from being the food of the Gods the Maple Bacon Bar is more or less a glazed doughnut with maple flavored icing and bacon on top.  It really is just like someone put their pancake breakfast in doughnut form. The combination of the sweet from the icing and doughnut with the salty and savory from the bacon was supreme.  I'd like to get another while I am writing this from Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Manor in New Jersey.  I doubt they deliver that far.  I recommend you go get one as soon as you travel to Portland again.

They're delicious.

Playoff Beard Watch 2010

'It's the only way to live' - Charlie Manuel on being in first place
The Phillies clinched the NL East last Monday night in Washington. Roy Halladay threw a shutout then got champagne dumped all over him by his teammates. Then things got really crazy...at least from a grammatical standpoint.

Thanks to ZWR (and wherever they got it) for the video.
Winning the NL East has become a regular fall event for the Phillies and their fans. As one of those fans, it's time to start Beard Watch  2010, another regular autumnal event.  I last shaved the day before the Phillies clinched for reasons that may be discussed later.  Regardless of why I shaved, the important point is that I have not shaved since.  The Phillies have spent the past week preparing for the postseason and so have I.   Now the season is over and the big excitement begins on Wednesday.

That is one bearded piece of man-meat.

GO PHILS!

You have to be kidding me

I will never lie and claim to be above watching trashy TV.  I actually was present for a filming of the Jerry Springer show in Chicago.  I used to love watching the Real World/Road Rules Challenge for the sheer pageantry of stupidity that people who want to be famous put on.  Shit, I write a blog about my traveling 'exploits'.  Do I have room to be critical?  I loved watching the first season of The Jersey Shore.  The sheer ridiculousness of the Guidos or Bennies or Shoeys on that show simply made the first season irresistible.  However, stupidity can only hold my attention for so long and I can't claim to have seen a single episode of the 2nd season.
And then Snooki got a book deal.

I have to give credit where credit is due for finding this image.  Thanks to The Daily Wh.at, The Official Pics of Me in Front of Stuff Source for memes.
You know what Snooki's book deal made me want to do...

And then it gave me hope. If someone as dumb as she appears to be can get a book deal almost anyone can. I know most of you, Dear Readers, all 5 of you do read books and probably would buy a copy of my book. Then again, the majority of my readers would probably expect them for free as Christmas gifts.  There's at least 3 guaranteed sales there, unfortunately they would all be to me! Regardless, there's hope for my memoirs!