L.L. Bean Store - Freeport, ME

There are too few opportunities in my life to demonstrate my unique ability to recall the television and movies from my youth.

For some reason, I keep displaying my non-unique ability to poorly describe my trips to random places.

But back to something I am good at. You should have been there for my list of funny movie tuxedos which did not include The Tuxedo with Jackie Chan but did include:

Josh Baskin's (Tom Hanks) white tuxedo and tails from Big

Frank Dooley (John Candy) and Norman Kane's (Eugene Levy) wore in Armed and Dangerous

My feeling is it's forgotten classic. John Candy was never given a fair shake as an action hero.

Who can forget Harry and Lloyd's stunning tuxed-ification?

This movie taught me a lot about life or at least provides for lots of funny lines to quote for the rest of my life at inappropriate times.

Finally, there is bad boy Ricky Vaughn's sleeveless tuxedo from the baseball classic - Major League.

There was no help from Jobu making this list.

But you were probably not there for the truly hilarious first rendition.

It killed.

Your loss.

My expertise extends beyond fictional formal wear to Nickelodeon shows from the late 80s and early 90s, like Hey Dude. If you do not remember Hey Dude, Nickelodeon's first live-action television series, check out Wikipedia's synopsis.

I am too lazy to try and describe it myself. I already have 4 videos in this post! What else do you people want from me?!

One of my personal favorite exchanges of the entire series was between Melody (Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller's wife and Allentown, PA native) and Brad (Kelly Brown) where Melody, a fan of rap music (really?) challenges Brad the brunette debutante, to name a single rapper.

Gentlemen prefer blonds, but this blond prefers rappers.

Brad's responses:
Run DMV and LL Cool Bean!

Oh, those Nickelodeon writers and their wicked sense of humor!

Where am I going with this? There is no picture of me in front of anything so far.

Alright, here's the point. On the return half of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's recent trip to the Pine Tree State, we stopped in Freeport, ME home of L.L. Bean Inc. Similar to the Chinese desire to keep the Mongols out of their territory with the Great Wall of China, the Beans wanted to keep moisture separated from their feet with a giant duck boot outside their factory store in Freeport. Unfortunately, the giant duck boot is not observable from space.

The store, or more accurately, the complex was a monument to everything Bean! If you wanted something labeled as L.L. Bean short of a bondage starter kit, you could find it at this store. I did not go into the S&M section, so it is possible I just missed it. I was too busy checking out the sandals and/or tents. On a beautiful, sunny Maine day we wandered inside amongst aisle after aisle of clothes equipment intended to be used outdoors. It was an interesting paradox...or maybe...a paradox boots...

Phillies 14 Cardinals 6 - Citizens Bank Ballpark - Philadelphia, PA

First, the really terrible news.
We were in McFadden's when all of this was going on, thankfully, nowhere near this awful tragedy.

Next up - less despicable news, though still terribly stupid.

Finally, the good news. The Phillies won. I am not sure who these kids are, but they were clearly at the same game as me and their video is a much more vivid description than I could provide otherwise.

My inability to recount a hot sweaty afternoon is partially due to the hours spent in McFadden's prior to the game. Also the video is featured because the adage that a picture is worth a thousand words is true. This is a video which is essentially a bunch of pictures strung together which probably makes it worth a few million words. Also, the drunk guy falling over is worth a few laughs.
They usually are.
Imagine if one was running up the down escalator.
And he did not quite make it up to the top.
And he sat down and rode the escalator part way down following his calamity.
Then he realized he sliced open his big toe because he was wearing sandals.

He might look like this guy.

His toe may have gotten bandaged up like this one.

His friends and him could have had bearfights following his trip to the infirmary.

They may have been served by this young lady.

Who knows for sure, but it looks like some of us had a good time.

Maybe I should ask Fensty. Fensty is watching!!!

Remember Maine! - Acadia National Park - Bar Harbor, Maine

I have said this before but in Pennsylvania.

This time I did not just say it, I lived it! I remember Maine since I was there a few weeks ago. Recently, I managed to describe the more humid portion of my trip. Maybe you read it and noticed my impressive usage of literary devices or at least me mentioning literary devices. Considering I managed to work 12 hours at my real job today, I am just glad I can type out the words literary and device so I will not even consider trying to use them. Regardless of my abundance or lack of literary devices, I spent a rainy first day in Maine.
But consider this...

And that little ginger girl was right! The sun did come out the next day though I was unwilling to place any bets on the chance of precipitation. I do not have to go far down to reach my bottom dollar, but I was unwilling to reach for it. The sun did come up eventually that afternoon. And the sun was not blocked by rain clouds for the rest of the weekend. With the arrival of the gorgeous sunshine to the coast of Maine afternoon I returned to Acadia National Park to tackle the Beehive. It was sort of like the swallows returning to Capistrano, but different.

The Beehive is not the most dangerous/exciting trail in the world or even Acadia National Park. The Precipice Trail is closed during the spring and summer for osprey to nest. The Beehive trail is almost always available for a climb up. The rock outcropping appears to just straight out of the soil of Mount Desert Island and invite or maybe dare foolhardy souls to try and climb it.

Here it is on the cloudy day before this particular fool climbed it. Though not very tall, the Beehive juts menacingly above the trees then observed from the Sandy Beach. Fortunately, there were no real bees to make the rock outcropping even more exciting.

Tommy Boy - A funny movie is a click away

Look at that!
Two videos in one post!
That must be some kind of record!
Back to the original topic, the Beehive is well-known for the short trail that ascends it because the trail is so steep that at some points it features iron rungs to assist in climbing. That is why we saved the Beehive for a sunny day - iron rungs are especially slippery when wet. Initially, the Chief Photographer and I had some difficult finding the trail that led to the iron rungs. We turned a little earlier at what we thought was the Beehive trail.
We managed to find a goat's foot but no iron rungs.
After carefully consulting the map we realized if you just look for the giant rock pile, it is hard to get lost...


After realizing just how dumb we were for not just looking for the giant cairn aka rock pile, CP and I began the hardest, steepest part of the Beehive Trail. The trail is not a handicap accessible trail. You certainly will not make it up iron rungs with a cane, walker, or wheelchair. The trail is not so difficult that children can't make it up. If I were a parent taking my kids up this trail they might be on one of those leashes people keep their kids on these days. The dangers are real, but not so prevalent you need to be an expert rock climber to reach the summit. It is pretty cool to see iron rungs attached to rocks sporadically. In all honesty, the iron rungs are the main reason I wanted to go on this trail. I have enough pictures of me looking manly, standing in forest landscapes.

Like this one.

I had zero pictures of me climbing iron rungs in the woods in a manly fashion, until now.

If you can believe it, CP and I managed to reach the top of the Beehive without incident. (I like the CP nickname even though she gave it to herself.) At the top, we supped on PB&J the official sandwich of Pics of Me in Front of Stuff, relaxed in the gorgeous sunshine, and enjoyed the view. That was a common theme in Maine and Acadia National Park the entire weekend. I recommend heading there and doing the same.

Maine in the Rain - Acadia National Park - Bar Harbor, Maine

I just returned from Hawaii and shaved off a week's worth of beard, but this post is not going mention those any further than the first half of this sentence. I am saving that for a few posts from now.

Consider that foreshadowing.

Look at me a using literary device. Next thing you know, I will be spitting out some alliteration or maybe an allusion.

Since most of these rambling collections of words are as understandable as Sarah Palin's reasons for resigning. it is time to get straight to the topic at hand:

Maine!

Truth be told, I will only be covering the first few rainy days we spent in one of The Pine Tree State's most well-known locales, Bar Harbor. If you are a frequent reader or if you scroll down a little bit, you will see I mentioned the town on Mount Desert Island previously on Pics of Me in Front of Stuff. While chronological order is usually one of my strong suits, I say nuts to chronology and I will describe events in whatever order I will see fit. I may or may not be describing my trip as a 5-year old to Disney Land in the near future. I may even describe it backwards. Stay tuned.

What is really going to happen is I will describe out first few soggy days including a rainy trip to Acadia National Park, which makes up a large portion of Mount Desert Island and is just down the road from Hanscom's Motel, Pics of Me in Front of Stuff's HQ while in Maine. All of this happened before I battled with the lobster, screw you chronological order. Like much of the East Coast in May and June, sunshine was at a premium in Maine. They were just not handing out many sunny days which affected not only my softball league's schedule, but also my vacation. Despite my cackling laugh, love of flying monkeys, and disdain for scarecrows, tinmen, and cowardly lions I do not melt when wet. However, driving for several hours in the pouring rain is a tiring process and I was grateful to finally reach Hanscom's, a small, lovely family owned motel outside of Bar Harbor, for a respite.

After a quick dinner made in our room's kitchenette (Pics of Me in Front Stuff does not pay), the Chief Photographer and I made a quick visit to the town of Bar Harbor to get the lay of the land and some ice cream cones. Even in the chilly rain and fog, Bar Harbor (or Bah Hah-Bah) is an idyllic little town. See just how much fog there was in the town harbor. I can imagine in the summer that the place is infested with Bostonians and the other denizens of the ESPN/SI created monster known as Red Sox Nation. Fortunately, as a World Phucking Champions supporter, I was not inundated with talk of Youk and Jason Bay. However, I was quite damp due to the poorly-timed precipitation.

Following our trip to town and a restful night of sleep at Hanscom's, the Chief Photographer and I visited Acadia National Park in hopes of exploring and possibly setting the stage for a sunnier return trip (ooh, more foreshadowing). We explored Sandy Beach, recommended to us by a friendly guide at the visitor center, and took a ery brief hike in the near vicinity. There I posed for pictures with things behind me.

Go figure.

From Sandy Beach we could see the Bee Hive, an Acadia Park landmark, as well as lovely views of the rocky coast. We dined on peanut butter and jelly while watching the tide rise and fall on the rocks. After the hike we drove around the main road through the park and eyed up some landmarks and views that required further examination during a sunny day. Even in the cloudy gloom Acadia and its vast array of rocky coasts and pine trees is a sight to behold. I would recommend everyone going sometime before they die to enjoy the beauty found there. Just imagine if I had seen it on a more pleasant day!