Man vs Lobster - Stewman's Downtown - Bar Harbor, Maine

It seems few creatures on the blue planet are as confrontational as humans. From Roe vs Wade to Ali vs Frazier to Bear Stearns in Man vs Wild to the chubby dude from Brooklyn in Man vs Food, humans, especially men are always confronting other men, abstract ideas like the Wild, or large amounts of spicy, greasy, cheesy, meaty, etc. food. It is unlikely I will ever have my own basic cable show in which to confront nature or food or anything, I do have my own blog to confront lots of random crap. Sometimes this crap is me confronting miles of road, push-up competitors, or beer. On a recent trip to Maine, I went for a new type of confrontation - Man vs marine crustacean.
There are not many better places on Earth to find a bright red arthropod than Bar Harbor, Maine. Though you never find them bright red in nature, they are only bright red after they hae been boiled. Or at least, that is what just about everyone told me. Maine is known for its lobster, at least that's what I am told, and who am I not to listen? When I get to Wisconsin, I will eat the cheese and drink the beer. I had the pineapple and poi while I was in Hawaii. How the Hell could I go to Maine and not eat the lobster? So for dinner on the second night of our recent excursion to the home of LL Bean, I visited Stewman's Downtown in Bah Hawbah to get me some lobstah.
Like the accent? I was looking for the most '-ah' words I could fit into one sentence.
Regardless of how you say it, I fought the lobster and I won. The poor 1lb crustacean really had no chance when facing the 230 lb man. There were even instructions for dismatling the little guy.

If there were instructions for dismantling me, I would probably be left in pieces in a paper basket too. Fortunately, no one is wearing a bib with a picture of me on it. Another factor on my side is that I am pretty sure I do not taste delicious after being dipped in melted butter. With those factors on my side, I fear no retribution from the lobster's family. However, if I am suddenly drug to the bottom of the ocean by a group of angry lobsters you should know it is really just karma. Throw an Irish wake in my honor and have a bear fight in memorial.

Upon further review, maybe I should not declare a complete victory. I did own my lobster opponent and his little clam friends as well as their corn on the cob and potato partners, but later they owned my stomach. Let's be honest, there is no doubt regarding my victory. I am typing this, not a lobster but a flawless victory this was not. Fortunately, my tummy regained its composure but the lobster never pulled himself back together.

Victory Mine?!