Melee at Shea

We might be smiling during my second visit to the level of Hell known as Shea Stadium, but the Phillies are losing and there are fist fights going on behind us.

If I have not lived a life worth of reaching the pearly gates and instead descend into Hell, with all of its fire and brimstone, I am positive that there will be a special section for me with loudspeakers that ceaselessly play a crowd chanting 'Let's Go, Mets!' There is a not single phrase repeated over and over game that more fills my mouth with bile nor burns my ears more than that three-syllabic cheer for the residents of Shea stadium. Imagine Karl Rove and Sarah Palin in Mile High Stadium during Barack Obama's acceptance speech during the Democratic National Convention – that is the kind of Hell I am talking about.

Having already spent one evening in the dump known as Shea Stadium, I found myself returning with feelings of excitement at the possibility of a Phillies sweep and a tie for first place in the NL East. My man-crush, Cole Hamels was on the mound to oppose one of Satan's newest minions, Johan Santana. Not only was our ace pitching, but also the Phillies had won the two previous games of the series including the day game of the day-night doubleheader caused by Hurricane Hanna. I felt the stars were aligned for a sweep and a tie for first.

Unfortunately, the Baseball Gods did not agree and Cole gave up 3 runs in the first inning and the Phillies gave up 6 overall while managing to score only 3. The real excitement was in the stands of Shea as supporters of the Phillies had traveled to Shea to harass the fans of the Mets. Imagine once again Karl Rove and Sarah Palin at the DNC – this time drunk and mentally challenged. Even with security nearby, including an angry man wearing a jacket emblazoned with SUPERVISOR, across the back, multiple melees ensued in the later innings in my section as well as the surrounding sections. At one point,l a multitude of angry, mostly overweight, security guards in bright orange shirts rushed past me on the steps headed towards the fighting.

Leading up to the hand-to-hand combat, some of the would-be warriors traded insults with the initial raucous Philadelphia Phanatics hurling brilliant barbs such as 'Retarded Retards!' as well as the old standby of questioning the Phans’ heterosexuality. The truly great aspect of the ultimate Mets defenders was the fact that while they yelled at the invaders from Philadelphia, the game for which they had paid to see was going on behind their backs. Clearly, these were shining examples of the residents of New York and Philadelphia. The most amazing combatant was the younh, male (and I use that term lightly about New York Mets fans) Mets fan somehow was involved and possibly instigated 3 fights and yet was not forced to leave until he got into a fight directly in front of security. Maybe that's why call them the Amazin' Mets.

Either way, Go Phils!