Tara Lipinski as a fat redneck dude

When I think of figure eights, I think of figure skating with tiny elven girls glidning across the ice in their little showgirl costumes. At the Bloomsburg Fair, when tbey talk about figure eights they talk about sending beat-up compact cars careening around huge tires in a figure eight pattern. Think figure skating minus any class but plus lots of redneck.

Following the multiple races to qualify and the main event, most of the participants decided to enter the demolition derby to destroy their race cars. I was cheering for # 76 for obvious reasons.

Following the carnage, I decided I needed a picture in front of the results.

Oh the humanity!!!!